Till the end

getting WORST...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Another day has pass, things are still the same. hai...

Got my result, not too bad i think for not working hard. hai...

Haven seen her for a week, don't know how's she doing. WORST, knowing her result about her attachment. i know something is wrong when i sms her asking how she did for her exam. she never say much, but knowing that she got a C+ for attachment and WORST after reading her blog my heart feel really pain. just really hope that i can do something for her. seeing her facing the problem alone makes me feel so useless, but i just can't do anything even staying by her side. hai...

this part of my life really sucks, why things have to be like this. hai...

can i DO it???

Monday, September 21, 2009

After watching the show "my best friend girl", i relies that love is not what you ask from each other but is being yourself to one another. "you always hope for something you want from them but is it something they really want to give?"

the guy in the show let go of the girl he loves because he ask himself "she is good enough for me but am i good enough for her?" and this is the same thing i ask myself. i'm not trying to be a hero by letting you go and it hurts so much to do so. but if i don't, you will never know am i the right one for you.

hoping to stay strong...

DON'T know what to do...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Today, i stay behind after work at 6pm helping Arul, sitting here and there and looking at people climbing. Work, i will do whatever things people ask me to do or even doe nobody ask me to do it. Climbing, i will push myself so hard even doe i can't take it. Going out with Jos and Yong, makes me feel that there is people to talk too. Jamming, it lets me release all my stress. i had never felt so lost in my life before that i can only find stress in work, pain in sports, talking to others and jamming to stop thinking about it.

got myself a really nice Western food under my block for dinner. but when i get home, the food just look so simple and i just don't feel like eating it anymore.

its been more than a week, seen like nothing have change. i keep telling myself that it is the right thing to do by saying it out, but why things ended up like this? i felt that we are more far apart that she don't even need me anymore. i try to contact her and ask her out, but things are just so different when we talk or see each other. dose that mint that is over?

i know that it will be like this if i told her how i really feel and i felt that it will be only fare to be true to each other. she told me what i did was right but she don't know how to reply and she needs time.

time? is it to test or to forget i really don't know? i know i have to put all my trust on her, even doe it takes forever because if she can't even tells that is she happy with me or not then what is the point of being together. but it's really hard and painful for me, i don't know how long this pain will take and will it be better for us in the future?

i wrote all this because i can't sleep every night and i got no one to talk too. i really hope that four years mints something to us.

seriously after spending two hours writing this, i don't know what am i trying to say...

night is VERY young...

it really happen... night cycling. haha. it should be a stress relive for us after our exam, but end up to be a stress for our legs that only the four of us know how it feels "right". haha. so let me show you the Mr. Joshua route...

super high before moving off "ECP" 10pm...

1st check point "Changi end" 11+pm...

2nd check point "AMK station" 1+am...

super paint "G-sports". haha...

3rd check point n supper "Upp Bt Timah" 3+am...

4th check point "Orchard Rd" 4+am...

new models for "PRADA". hehe...

5th check point "Sheares Bridge" 5+am...

Final check point "ECP" 7am...

"please NV try this again". haha...

being love is so GREAT...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Haven saw my grandparents for seen my exam ended, so drop by their place for lunch before work today. they always love me, my sis and brother so much that what ever we ask my grandmother to cook for us, she never say NO. haha. i gust this is the kind of love that a parent will do.

hmmm? looks like soup...

mee?

our very own "Hokkien - spaghetti"

it is really nice, only my grandmother knows how to cook like this. After the lunch i watched "Bruce Lee" show with my grandfather, so funny the way they fight. haha... but the sad thing was they no longer stay at my place due to some stuff. hai... but i'll try to visit them more often and i'm planning to cook for them. hehe. somehow i feel so lucky that they will always be there to love me.

"love is something that you can't explain, but you can understand by feeling it"...

i'm really very lucky to work at ClimbAsia not because of the pay($5 per hr), i got to know alot of people that helps and teach me in my work(irwan, jups, hairul, janna, arul), people that let me have the chance to teach climbing and learn from them(suzanna, li ting, andy, jacob) and working there is like a dream come true for me as i always wanted to work in a place that i can enjoy, learn, teach and get home in 30min time. haha. thanks guys. needed...

"but there is still some part of me missing" hai...

first aider that CAN'T SAVE himself

Sunday, September 13, 2009

For the pass three day, i when for a First Aid course send by SP (free) so i ask Yong along. the course was great, i lend ways to saving people like Choking, Asthma, Hyperventilation, Burns and most importantly "the kiss of life" CPR. hehe.

this is what they do to you in the course. haha.

see this is what happen next. SIAO... haha.

i got certificate hor, don't play play...

COMMAX IT fare, to day is the last day so as a singaporean must go (last discount). haha. didn't get the camera that Joyce was looking for because they sell us about $50 more compare to other place with only "one 8GB mc, cover, screen protected, a small tripod that i don't think we can use and best of all, a umbrella for us to take picture in the rain. what the... but i got my new headphone, Joyce call it the telephone because of the line. haha. it is $108 but with a %20 off i got it for $88. i think is a good price and i'm able to try it on before i pay.

cool right... bye bye $88... hehe...

now back home after reading Joshua blog, my tears just flow out from my eyes and alot of things came through my mind. i'm just like this "ar pei" i took from AH, lost both of his leg and waiting for some one to visit him. i feel so sad when i saw him, but i gust now i know what is the feeling of waiting.

"things are just not the same when she's not around"