DON'T know what to do...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Today, i stay behind after work at 6pm helping Arul, sitting here and there and looking at people climbing. Work, i will do whatever things people ask me to do or even doe nobody ask me to do it. Climbing, i will push myself so hard even doe i can't take it. Going out with Jos and Yong, makes me feel that there is people to talk too. Jamming, it lets me release all my stress. i had never felt so lost in my life before that i can only find stress in work, pain in sports, talking to others and jamming to stop thinking about it.
got myself a really nice Western food under my block for dinner. but when i get home, the food just look so simple and i just don't feel like eating it anymore.
its been more than a week, seen like nothing have change. i keep telling myself that it is the right thing to do by saying it out, but why things ended up like this? i felt that we are more far apart that she don't even need me anymore. i try to contact her and ask her out, but things are just so different when we talk or see each other. dose that mint that is over?
i know that it will be like this if i told her how i really feel and i felt that it will be only fare to be true to each other. she told me what i did was right but she don't know how to reply and she needs time.
time? is it to test or to forget i really don't know? i know i have to put all my trust on her, even doe it takes forever because if she can't even tells that is she happy with me or not then what is the point of being together. but it's really hard and painful for me, i don't know how long this pain will take and will it be better for us in the future?
i wrote all this because i can't sleep every night and i got no one to talk too. i really hope that four years mints something to us.
seriously after spending two hours writing this, i don't know what am i trying to say...
